You may think that you will never be cheated on. You can expect that your spouse is different and will never do this. However, statistics prove otherwise:
- 20-25% of married couples admit having an adulterate affair that involved sex.
- Up to 40% admit “emotional infidelity”. These people don’t deny the fact that they fell for someone.
- Almost 100% have thought about cheating.
The is a misbelief that only men cheat on their spouses. Typically, men are more likely to two-time than women. However, it is a myth that women don’t cheat. They can have affairs too.
The only difference is that the number of cheating women is relatively less when compared with men. According to recent researches, the number of cheating women has increased by 40% since 1990. It is said that 20% of men and 13% of women are unfaithful to their partners. However, these numbers can be lessened.
Physical adultery is the first thing that comes to our mind when we meditate about cheating. However, there are less obvious ways to adulterate. In the era of digital development, there are many ways how people can cheat on their partners.
A lot of us live our lives on the Internet. The development of technology impacted on the way we communicate, get information, take pleasure. However, it has also made it easier to get to know new people and to cheat. Nowadays, it is simpler than ever to find contact almost everywhere. There are more various opportunities for flirting.
People no more have to visit public places to meet their significant others. Today everything is simpler. You have only to download a dating app, create an account and start looking for the best match. Moreover, you can get acquainted with your soulmate on Instagram. Now the number of people who met on the Internet is overgrowing.
It is hard to say what exactly is considered to be marital infidelity. It depends individually on the beliefs of each person. For example, are you cheating if you have a profile in Tinder or Badoo and check it from time to time, or if you watch porn, or like explicit photos on Instagram? For example, Facebook plays a central role in modern infidelity. The average user spends about 40-50 minutes on Facebook every day.
However, women, unlike men, succeed in leading a double life. Often, it is almost impossible to distinguish between a faithful and a cheating woman. People cheat and are cheated on due to diverse reasons.
The reasons for cheating for men and women vary. Men tend to two-time for physical desire when women are stimulated by emotional causes. Women tend to cheat when they are dissatisfied with their relationship and look for what is missing in their couple elsewhere.
So, Why Do Women Cheat?
Sometimes, a woman’s decision to cheat is complex. The following diverse reasons may motivate it.
A woman may cheat because she lacks self-esteem
You have troubles if most of the time you feel unlovable. It’s not a healthy state, and it’s worth worrying about. Women with low self-confidence, depression and other similar problems need more people to compliment them.
If someone finds them beautiful and sexual, it boosts their self-esteem. In such a case, women feel well-looking, sexy, loved and wanted. As a result, they may take up the man who gave them this validation.
A woman feels neglected and underestimated
If a woman is unvalued in her primary relationship, she will seek for someone who will appreciate and love her. Women want their partners to understand, to love and to appreciate them.
Such a problem often occurs after several years spent together. A man begins to take the fact for granted that a woman takes the better half of domestic chores upon herself: she cooks, tidies up and looks after the child. Men stop helping their soulmates and saying thank you to women for the duties they do day after day.
Heartfelt gratitude or suggestion to help is a key to a long-lasting and sincere relationship, while apathy can lead to cheating and other unpredictable actions.
A woman may lack sex and intimacy in her relationship. As a result, she desires a variety
A woman can cheat when she doesn’t get enough romance, intimacy and sex from her partner. Women enjoy sex as much as men do. They feel desired, needed and loved.
However, women appreciate non-sexual emotional interaction too. They like to spend time together, to walk, to talk about various things, to do sport, to watch a film and many other small things that can enhance a relationship.
If a woman doesn’t get these things from her partner, she will seek for them somewhere else. Women want variety; they get tired of the monotony.
A woman is unsatisfied and lonely in her relationship
If a woman feels unsatisfied emotionally or physically, or she thinks that she is incompatible with her partner, she is more likely to cheat and to find satisfaction elsewhere. Women, as well as men, cheat when they are missing something in their relationship.
When a woman doesn’t take pleasure in her present relationship, she becomes estranged and disconnected from her partner. In this case, she may feel lonely and distracted. First or last, she may look for someone who may fill the void, meet her emotional and physical needs and relieve her loneliness.
A woman can cheat in revenge
There are no words that can describe the feelings after a betrayal. You feel unbreakable pain and hurt, but the pain goes away eventually. While some people choose to forgive their partners, others decide that the best way to take the change out of cheating is to two-time and to hurt their partner in revenge.
Such people want to make their partners feel the same level of pain. It’s not the best decision. Only weak people without persistence can choose this way to solve a problem. Moreover, cheating in revenge can cause a vicious circle of affairs.
A woman can cheat owing to a midlife crisis or hormone imbalance
Women usually panic over getting older. They feel drained and unattractive. Typically, women try to reassure themselves that they are still young, beautiful and popular among men. When a co-worker starts to pay attention to such a woman, she is ready to go on a date with him to boost her self-esteem and to feel lovable.
A woman can cheat to find a spark
Women are exhausted by the burden of work, domestic chores, the upbringing of children, bills, shopping and many other things that take all the powers. Romance takes a backseat, and the former spark is lost in the everyday routine. They want to shift their attention to some other things and people.
A woman falls out of love with their partner
Love is an essential component of a long-lasting and stable relationship. The couple needs to work on their relationship so that love doesn’t subside. However, love, like many other things, not always lasts forever, sometimes it fades away. Eventually, people fall out of love. When there is no spark and feeling of love, women, as well as men, try to find a substitute.
A woman doesn’t feel protected and supported
Women need to know that they are in safety, and her significant other can stick up for her and care for their mental and physical well-being. Women want when their men demonstrate their intentions by their actions.
Everybody needs some encouragement from time to time, and a woman needs someone to share her dreams with. The partners should support each other. So a man should cheer his spouse up. If you are indifferent to your woman, she will find this backup and care somewhere else.
Is she cheating on me? Signs your girlfriend is cheating
To be in a relationship is not always easy. A strong and sincere relationship demands constant work on them. The problems in a couple can lead to a marital breakdown if they are not discussed and solved as quickly as possible. Otherwise, cheating can be an excellent option to escape these problems and to take a break from everyday life.
Not only men tend to cheat. Women can be unfaithful with their partners too, as it was mentioned above.
If you suspect your girlfriend or wife of cheating on you, then do something to know the truth. Sometimes, your suspicions can be causeless. Here are 11 signs indicating your woman is cheating on you. They will help you to confirm or disprove your doubts.
She pays more attention to her phone, and her device is always in a silent mood
If your girlfriend is taking extra care of her phone, it indicates that something wrong goes on. She may always keep her phone with her and away from your hands, spend more time than ever using her device, chat with somebody all the time. You girlfriend can set a new complex password on her phone or apps to prevent you from using her phone, reading the text messages and viewing calls and photos. All these actions mean that your girlfriend or wife is more interested in somebody she is interacting with.
If your spouse has a lover, she will try to conceal it in all possible ways. So she will usually keep her phone in a silent mood and put her phone screen down to avoid any questions about her calls or texts.
She has less interest in sex
To have intimacy is a vital component of every relationship. No relationship is complete without a healthy sex life. The amount of sex can diminish for a variety of reasons, including stress, fatigue, packed schedule, depression and lack of novelty. However, marital unfaithfulness may also be one of the cause. If you have less sex for some unknown reason, and she always has a new reason to avoid it, it’s high time to discuss this issue and to know the real reason.
However, a dramatic change in an intimate sexual life also can be a sign of cheating. Interest in new positions in bed that you didn’t use before can be a sign that she has tried them with somebody else.
She is too concerned about your schedule, plans and whereabouts
Cheating women need to know where their partners are and what plans they have. If your girlfriend starts to put you many questions about your schedule and plans, she wants to know when she can get away to meet with her lover, and for how long. If she regularly puts you such questions as ‘Where are you?’, ‘When will you be at home?’, it won’t mean that she takes an interest in your affairs. She only wants to avoid risks.
She pays increased attention to her appearance. Every girl wants to be attractive. If a girl tries to be appealing to others, she will spend more time and efforts on her appearance. When a woman enters into a new relationship, she can change her hairstyle, spend more time in the bathroom, buy new clothes, especially sexy bras and pants.
Well, girls love to beautify. It is an ordinary case when there is a reason for it. If there are no incentives, then why she dresses up so well, puts makeup on carefully and for a long time and can’t leave home without a hairdo?
It’s also a bad sign if along with things mentioned above, your woman starts to take an unusual interest in visiting a gym and losing weight.
She spends less time with you and asks you to go out with your friends
Girls are usually demanding to their partners. They desire attention and time. Recently she wanted to spend every spare moment with you. She always asked you to go for a walk in the park, to watch a movie or to spend a weekend together.
However, on the contrary, now she asks you to leave her alone, ignores you and doesn’t invite you to go somewhere or doesn’t include you in her plans. She communicates with you as little as possible and asks you to spend time with your friends. In this case, she tries to find spare time to spend it with someone else.
If she doesn’t have time for you, and whenever you ask her to go out, she is busy, it means that she either doesn’t love you any more or have an affair. There are almost the same things. No matter how busy a person is, if she loves you, he/she will find some time for you.
She tries to quarrel with you
Your girlfriend starts to stir up a conflict for no reason. She finds problems where there aren’t any and tries to convince you that there are a lot of difficulties in your relationship. When a woman wants to break up, she starts to find faults in their partner and tries to use every reason to split with him.
A woman may say that she is unhappy with you to manipulate and make you feel guilty. If a woman afraid of getting caught, she will get defensive. Women always become offensive and try to blame you of breaking your couple up. Moreover, they can even blame and suspect you of cheating on them. This is a common sign of defensiveness.
She goes out with her friends more often, and she made new friends
If you notice that she meets with her friends more often than before, it may be only a subject to go out on a date with somebody. Moreover, your girlfriend or spouse can have a ‘friend’ she spends most of her time. You have to check this issue.
She doesn’t want to interact with your family and friends any more.
A cheating woman usually wants to limit contacts with her partner’s surroundings as it is difficult to pretend and to conceal your true emotions. A woman may find reasons not to attend such events and to isolate herself as much as possible from her spouse and his inner circle.
She does not mention you on her social accounts
In the era of digital development, people share their life on the Internet. Almost everybody has an account on social networks, especially on Instagram, where he/she shares the photos. If your girlfriend doesn’t share photos with you any more, or she deleted them, she may hide her activity to fool other people and pretend that she is single.
Moreover, she may change or conceal her relationship status to stimulate men to contact her.
She often works long hours
Your girlfriend may start working more and may have many business dinners or trips. It is a common sign of extramarital affairs. A regular worker has such events, but not every day. If she comes home late several times a year, there’s nothing to worry about. However, if she is more often at work than at home and the number of business meetings has increased dramatically, she may cheat on you and cover up her dates with the lover. Once you notice that your partner cancels her plans for work-related things, this is a cause for concern.
She’s less affectionate with you
Your girlfriend may hug and kiss you less. She is more likely to become less romantic and tender. She may text and call you only on business. Her messages can be brief and limited. You are no longer discuss everything and don’t make plans. She doesn’t feel willing to take up plans with you. It can be a sign that she doesn’t see her future with you.
She stops caring for you
While men are breadwinners, women tend to care for their children and husbands. Usually, women are anxious about their partners and relationship. They are demanding and want their partners to pay them attention, to remember anniversaries and other important dates.
Men always say that they don’t like when their significant others nag them all the time and become angry at every given opportunity. When your spouse stops being anxious about these matters, you have a reason for concern. In this case, it is said that a silent woman is worse than an angry one. If she doesn’t worry about you, she will care about somebody else.
What to do when I caught my wife cheating?
Infidelity and its consequences are one of the most painful and perplexing moments in a relationship. It is the biggest fear for everyone to find out that their significant other has an affair. When you find your partner cheating, your world turns upside down. Your heart is broken, and you don’t know what to do. Being cheated on is an awful feeling. However, the way you cope with the situation has a significant impact on further consequences.
It’s hard to count how many emotions a person experience in such a situation. Usually, a person is full of anger, hurt, grieve, futility, hopelessness and many other emotions that prevent him from keeping an open mind. A person can suffer from stress, depression and unbearable physical pain. It is known that cheating can lead to heartbreak, a marital breakdown and low self-esteem problems.
No matter what the cause of cheating, it’s essential to decide what to do afterwards. Whether you choose to rebuild the relationship or to break up, learn how you can heal and move on. Here we will find some tips on what to do when you found that your partner is cheating on you.
Don’t let your emotions gain an advantage over you, channel them in the right direction.
It’s evident that your emotions are running high, and you are overwhelmed, and it’s challenging to cope with them. Don’t avoid these feelings. You may share them with your family and friends. You may need a shoulder to cry on.
These emotions can push you to make a rash decision, that can even make a bad situation worse. It’s a common thing for men to solve problems by setting upon somebody with blows.
However, it has no sense. It won’t help you to take a common decision. Blow off some steam, go to a gym or for a run. You can spend some time alone. Physical activity helps you to shift your attention, calm down and to burn off some adrenaline. Moreover, some exercise will help you to release a stress-producing hormone.
Give it time and don’t make rash decisions.
It is essential to discuss the current situation, but you may need some time before you will be ready to talk to your partner about what happened. Don’t rush to solve the issue. Think over every possible outcome. Sudden decisions without careful thinking can lead to consequences you may regret later. You have to be clear-headed when you decide how to move on.
Consider all the pros and cons and decide whether you want to save the marriage or to divorce. It should be your decision, and that’s your responsibility. Don’t let someone else decide whether you will leave your wife or not. Your mum may say to break up your marriage, while your buddy advises you to forgive her. However, only you know how it will be better for you. Remember, this is your life.
Don’t compare your situation with that one of others. There are no two similar marriages and problems. You have to focus on your marriage and your matrimonial difficulties.
Don’t put pressure on yourself and take as many time as you need. There are no time restrictions. Note that there is no one right decision. It will be difficult for you to accept both of them. If you leave her, you will have to go through the challenges of a breakup and establishing of a single life. If you continue the relationship, you will have to accept the fact that you will keep the relationship with the person who once cheated on you. Note that you will have to work a lot on your relationship.
Do not blame yourself
You may blame yourself, but stop doing it. It’s not your fault. Blaming you, your partner or her lover will change nothing. No one is guilty; bad things happen. Two people are responsible for their relationship. An affair cannot be a fault of only one of a couple. Try not to be a victim. Being a victim means that you are helpless and may lower your self-esteem.
Think about your children
This situation doesn’t apply to children. It will be better if you do not involve them in your problems. It is better to keep them apart until it’s possible. They don’t need to know details and who is guilty. If you decided to break up, you shouldn’t make your children choose who they want to stay with. Moreover, you should note that they may feel lost and unwanted. Your main task is to assure them that their parents still love them.
Ask your family and friends for support
Find someone who you can share your emotions with. Sometimes you need to talk to someone who isn’t involved in your problems and objective. For the first time, you may be perplexed to share your sufferings with other people. However, it’s essential not to be alone and not to become introverted.
Your loyal friend or a family member can be your best bet. Choose someone you can confine your secrets and feelings in. Make sure that this person shares your emotions, and he/she is a good listener and adviser.
However, don’t wash your dirty linen in public. Don’t tell everyone you see about your problems and don’t try to blame your spouse for what happened. Choose what and to who you say. If you share your issue with many people, it can create gossip. As you know, there is nothing good in rumors.
Often partners need a third party to help them find a solution to their problem. Complicated problems like that one you have, need professional insight and expertise. There’s no shame in admitting that you need help. Most people can’t cope with such a situation by themselves.
Take care of yourself
Do everything, as usual, take care of your physical and emotional needs to prevent depression and stress. Sometimes people are too perplexed, that they get out of their rhythm of life. They forget to eat and don’t sleep enough. You will feel lonely, try to do something to distract yourself from this contemporary feeling of emptiness. Make a packed schedule or channel your strength into the sport.
Eat healthy food, sleep enough, exercise, do yoga, meditate, spend time on your hobbies.
Establish your options
When you have the facts of her cheating, thing over possible outcomes. You have to decide whether you can forgive her unfaithfulness and whether you are ready to work on your relationship. There are two possible scenarios: you may leave her and start a bachelor’s life, or you may take the situation and decide to make a fresh start in your relationship.
Note that to deal with cheating on your own can be a complicated process. If you decided to continue your relationship, it would be necessary to attend a couple counselling. Look for the help of a licensed couple counselor. Cheating is often a result of some not evident problems.
You have to get to the heart of the problem and fix it. Moreover, you have to understand that you shouldn’t blame your partner and manipulate her cheating on you any more if you decided to forgive her. You can ask your spouse to be more open with you and to share her emotions and problems with you. Try to be more attentive to each other’s needs.
If you want to leave her, it’s better to say it face-to-face. You don’t have to bother your relationship any more. The best thing you can do is to focus on your objectives and plans. Don’t lose your courage, indeed keep your head up. Your life goes on.
Confront your wife about her marital infidelity
When you blew off some steam, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife. Make a list of pros and cons to take a final decision. Don’t let your wife interfere with your choice. She has already done everything she could. Tell her about your emotions and know the reasons for her unfaithfulness.
Listen to your wife’s arguments. Know whether she is sorry or not and whether she wants to work on your relationship, or she tends to break up. Find out more details about her cheating (main reason, how long has their affair been going on, what is she going to do now).
Unfortunately, cheating is a common problem in modern society. In love, there is a risk of marital unfaithfulness. There many reasons for marital infidelity. Sometimes they may be complex and not distinct. However, a cheating person changes his/her behavior, appearance and habits. It’s easy to find out if your significant other is cheating on you.
There are cheating signs that can help you to prove or refute your suspicions. How many signs of cheating viewed in this article did you notice? However, don’t rely only on your presumptions, talk to your spouse and find out whether you are right or not.